Mommy Love

Coming back to Pennsylvania to be with my mom in her last days has conjured up a lot of weird emotions.  Whether it is sleeping in the same room that I grew up in, walking the streets of the town that I rode my bike through as a kid or just visiting places that were a major part of my childhood, it is all a bit surreal.  But probably the most difficult emotions are the ones I experience as I watch Derek grow and interact with Teresa.  The way he gets angry with her when she doesn’t give him what he wants reminds me of how frustrated I have gotten with my mom over the years for the many times we have not seen eye to eye.  The way he lights up every time she walks in the room reminds me of the special place my mom has held in my heart my entire life.  The way he runs to her whenever he falls reminds me of how my mom has always comforted me in life no matter how hard I have fallen.  The way she loves him reminds me of the love that can only be shared between a mother and her first born son.  And as I sit with my mom every night watching this disease steal whatever life she has left, I pray, “God, please don’t rob my son of what I have been robbed of.”