In 2001, Paul lost his sister Kristi to a brain tumor after an 11-year long battle. As the tumor and its affects began to overtake her brain, her mental and physical abilities began to decline. Paul and his extended family are now forced to watch his mother go through the same thing at a much faster rate due to the aggressiveness of her brain cancer.
Last night, Paul’s mom was taken away by ambulance and admitted to the hospital. We found out that the tumor has now grown to 6 cm and is dislocating her brain. As we finished the admission process last night, we discussed medical care for Paul’s terminally ill mother. Much of the conversation was very similar to the conversations my brother and I had for my dad a little over a year ago.
I have no spiritual insight. I cannot see the beauty from the ashes quite yet. I know that I will. I will know we will eventually see the lessons to be learned and our character will grow. But at this moment taking comfort in God’s sovereignty doesn’t feel like enough. As Paul said last night, “God we know you’re great. We know you’re sovereign. But sometimes you seem like kind of a jerk.”
Posted by sarahbowling on June 3, 2009 at 7:36 am
praying for you all; it was really good to chat yesterday
Posted by Pam on June 3, 2009 at 7:42 am
In my experience, it is ALWAYS God’s will to heal! He always wants his children well and hates to see them hurting! When we pray, healing is done in the Spirit, but because of the curse-it takes time to manifest in the natural. We don’t really know WHY people don’t get healed on this earth! It is heart breaking to let them go and a hard struggle with faith if they don’t get their healing on this earth. The exciting thing and gut wrinching at the same time, is they do get healed either way. My Mom was healed through her death. The enemy tried to take her out with cancer because she was a Spirtual threat in the natural, but the Lord rescued her from it and she was healed, but through death and HE got the glory! Continue to pray, speak and fight for her healing and HAVE FAITH! GOD REIGNS-not cancer! Love to you ALL!
Posted by Ang on June 3, 2009 at 11:09 am
You know that I’m thinking about you guys and praying for you. Hang in there!
Posted by Erin on June 3, 2009 at 4:41 pm
We are praying for you and your family. I also pray that the staff you encounter at the hospital during this time can provide support and help. Keep your options open for the best way to be present to your Mom during this very difficult time. Love you bunches- call if you need to (anytime of day)
Posted by Yolanda on June 13, 2009 at 10:38 pm
All I can say is yep… those human feelings are real and valid. Don’t feel bad for being honest with yourself and God, He knows your heart anyway. What I know is that His love prevails. The best thing to do is worship Him (sing those songs-new ones your spirit births and old ones that bring comfort) during this time and ruminate on scripture- you may be surprised how much scripture is imbedded in your spirit. Satan hates when you dwell on the reality of God and His word and it keeps you from “going there”: what if, why not, how come, etc.
“God keeps those in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee.”
Love you and praying for you,
Yoli