Archive | June, 2008

Jesus, You’re My Lifeline

28 Jun

I don’t have the capability to put this audio file on my blog, but it’s my favorite worship song and the lyrics are really speaking to me right now.

“Your mercy goes much deeper, Your grace it rescues me

Your mercy goes much deeper, farther than I can see

Your mercy goes much deeper, Your grace it rescues me

Your mercy goes much deeper, father than I can see

I reach for You, when I’m going under

I wait for You, Jesus, You’re my lifeline

Where could I go? Where could I stand? How could I leave the shelter of Your hand?”

The lyrics are wonderful but it doesn’t do it justice without the song. I will post the song at a later date. Tonight, it’s just me, the Lord, and some inspiration from Lindell Cooley.

And Life Moves On

26 Jun

So, I’m still very much broken-hearted over leaving my job. But, I’m working at looking towards my future and what the Lord has for my family and me. I don’t think that I’ve really taken the time to enjoy being a Mom, so I’ve been spending a lot of time with my wonderful son. Paul and I took him swimming on Saturday and he loved it. Which isn’t surprising, because he loves everything. He’s been so clingy with me. In a “Hey, I’m seeing you more often now and that’s pretty exciting!” kind of way. That makes me feel incredibly loved. Derek is amazing therapy for a broken heart.

I also registered for school. I’ve always wanted to finish my degree. So, I’m enrolled as a full-time student starting in the fall. I’ll be finishing my degree in music and preparing for that has been therapeutic as well.

Paul and I visited a church on Sunday. It was nice but it’s going to take a lot for me to see any other church as my church home. ORCC has been such a wonderful family and, in my eyes, it’s going to be hard to find anything that compares.

Update – It’s Been Awhile

21 Jun

Due to my struggles with PPD and the recent loss of my father, I’ve decided to leave my job. All of this just proved to be a little too much to handle. Paul and I felt that is was also a season where we needed to step away from our church, which was a very difficult decision to make.

We love our church and I loved my job, but for now I just need time for my husband, my son, and well… for me.  Your prayers are welcomed.

Sorry It’s Been Awhile

19 Jun

I’m going through a new season in my life and waiting on how that’s shaping. I will keep you posted.

Wordless Wednesday

10 Jun

I know, I know… I get way more response when I stick to what I do best, Mommy blogging! So, here’s my wordless Wednesday for you with no one else but my amazingly adorable child. Enjoy!

Already on the computer. I know all Moms say this, but my kid really is brilliant. That’s just fact.

Bonding time with Dad

Amazing. Nuff said.

Purify My Heart, Let Me Be As Gold

9 Jun

We used to sing this song in our worship services years ago called “Refiner’s Fire”. I loved how beautiful and simple it was. And one day, after ending the worship portion of the service with that song, the pastor got up and said, “I’m always very hesitant to sing that song because I want to make sure that I mean what it is I’m saying.” I never realized how challenging those words were and it made me be more aware of the words I sing in other songs. I want to make sure I mean what I’m singing.

I never really knew exactly what the Refiner’s Fire was until Evangelist John Bevere came to our church and spoke on it. Essentially, how they purify gold or silver is to boil it until the impurities rise to the top, and the refiner can skim those impurities away. He also said that these impurities are exactly that, impure. They are nasty and disgusting. That is essentially what God does with us. He turns up the heat so those impurities rise to the top, so that He can come with His gentle hand and “skim” those impurities away. Those impurities are parts of ourselves that are ugly and gross to look at. And God has to bring those things to the surface in order to flesh them out.

I’ve written in the past month about some of the struggles I’ve been facing lately. My life has been fairly uncomfortable the past 8+ months, and especially six months. And anytime I find myself dealing with issues that I could’ve sworn I had dealt with previously and am surprised to see re-surface, God reminds me of the refiner’s fire. I imagine these impurities rising up to the surface. These ugly and nasty things that I dislike in myself have risen to the top. I can either push them back down or let the Lord “cleanse me from my sin, deep within.”

Whatever the analogy for it is, pruned or refined – it stinkin’ hurts. I struggle to find the good within myself under the mire of yuck. But, if I look very hard, I see my good in this world when I see the way my husband looks at me, or the way my son’s world lights up when I walk into a room, or the person that comes to me in tears because they believe me to a person they can trust because I’ve earned that spot in their heart.

I can look at my reflection and see all of the ugliness and those traits that cause me shame. I know that all of that is there and I know that God has so much to perfect within me. But, thank God for His grace that will always reflect back what He sees in me as well.

We always encourage each other to see each other through God’s eyes. My encouragement to you today is to endeavor to see yourself through God’s eyes. And I will try to do the same thing. I am, after all, my own worst critic. Trust me, there’s nothing anyone can say about me that I haven’t said to myself. However, I’m working hard on letting God be my advocate. Even if He’s advocating for me… to me.

What a Weekend of Blog Joy!

8 Jun

You know it’s been a good weekend when 3 of the 4 Brage family have linked you! Thanks for the link love:

Sue

Barge

Hosh

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